Having a parent or two move in with you may be a joyous occasion, or it could trigger stress for you. Either way, it’s comforting to know that millions of parents are currently living with their adult children. (And you don’t see a bunch of terrible news stories about it!) The arrangement can work, but preparing yourself, your family and your home will make things go more smoothly.
Discuss Roles
When grandma or grandpa (or nana or papa) move into a home with children, it’s time for a family meeting to discuss roles. Will grandma ever act as a caregiver to the children, or will the children actually help take care of grandma? And, of course, if grandma needs care, who will provide it?
Welcome the Ugly Furniture
So, maybe dad’s favorite recliner won’t look like the duct-taped version on “Frasier,” or maybe it will! Either way, try to accommodate some favorite belongings. Having something of their own at your home will help your parents feel better and ease the transition.
Even if you don’t love it, welcome grandma’s unique piece of furniture. It will help her feel more at home. Image by Fab.
Cope Emotionally
You’re not alone! It’s normal to need help during times of transition or turmoil. Resources for caregivers include Caring.com, National Council on Aging (NCOA), or your Employee Assistance Program (EAP).
Create Space
If you can’t move to a larger home or build an addition to your home, the best way to create more space is to move things out of your house! Use a storage unit to house furniture, collections, seasonal items, sports equipment and more.
Talk Money
No one likes to discuss money (especially with parents and siblings), but if you get organized on the money-front now, things will be easier later. Always know who is financially responsible for what, and who owns what. You’ll need this information when you navigate the senior care system.
Help Grandma Go Mobile
If your parent doesn’t already have a mobile phone, get her one! It will benefit everyone. No one wants to field phone calls on the landline. More importantly, seniors should have a mobile for emergencies, or for maintaining contact whenever outside of the home. And, yes, they do make simple, big-button mobile phones for seniors.
Big button mobile phones can be very helpful for seniors, and for you!
Make Your Home Safer for Seniors
You may be familiar with baby proofing a home, but elder proofing is different. It’s much wiser to prevent accidents than risk injury, so err on the side of caution when it comes to implementing simple changes like installing grab bars for the bathroom, comfort height toilets and anti-slip mats for throw rugs. In some cases, more extensive changes may be required, such as the addition of ramps or chair lifts. Discuss needs with your parent’s healthcare provider.
Pool Resources
If your home isn’t spacious enough to ensure everyone’s privacy, or if it’s not accessible for someone with mobility problems (too many stairs or uneven floors), then consider pooling resources to buy a different home. You may be able to sell your parent’s home and yours too, and use the funds to buy a home that will make everyone happy.
Agree to Not Talk about It
It’s a perfectly sane idea to make some topics taboo. So, you’re single and you don’t want mother or father asking about your dating life, make it known. Or perhaps you don’t want a free-spirited grandpa using certain language around the kids. That’s fine too. In general, avoid discussing politics or controversial issues, especially if you know there will be disagreements!
Get a Tax Break
When you care for a parent, you may receive a little help back at tax time, especially if you’re providing housing, food or medical supplies. Some options include writing off medical expenses, claiming a parent as a dependent. Talk with your tax advisor for details.
See? It’s not so hard, after all. And don’t forget to reward yourself for all your hard work!
